Greetings , switcher of Chelydra serpentina ! You guys transmit in a crew of ( short ) motion this week so I have a bunch of ( long , rambling ) answers ! More of those , please ! Meanwhile , let ’s keep dissing Fantastic Four , discuss whether Hugh Jackman is trolling fans , and end people who want to station pic studios free money .
The Brave and the Old
Danny C. :
Esteemed Postman of the Irradiated Wasteland ,
I recently finish The Flash , first time of year , and start Arrow . What strike me about these shows is how well Barry and Oliver stand in for their more famous contemporaries Batman and Superman . This wholesale rip - off of the Big Two is n’t problematic in my opinion , however , because the CW ’s analogues are better incarnations of Superman and Batman than we ’ve seen since … ever ?
My question is , do we still need Superman and Batman ?
If The Flash and Arrow are out - Superman - ing , out - Batman - ing Superman and Batman , what the hell are we keeping these old guys around for ? The Flash is a respectable window pane because he has the Deliverer building complex , he wants to help people for the sake of help people , but he ’s blemished , both physically and emotionally . Superman , the critique go away , is too over - powered , too god - like to be an interesting character . Barry does n’t digest the same flaws , principally thanks to – ironically – his flaw .
The same can be said of Batman and his pocket-sized - screen challenger Green Arrow . They both model and pontificate about saving their cities , they both grapple with the line between vigilantism and villainy , and they both affect an comically grumbly accent once the masks are donned . But The Hood can be shown coming into their own with nuanced novelty ( blindness , bow - and - freaking - arrow ) but without the luggage years of forced story - lines brings .
blank out lease someone else wear the mantle and cowl ; ca n’t we have Supes and Bats advert it up for good and all be good off for it ?
Well , DC and Warner Bros. ca n’t , because Superman and Batman specifically make them a gross ton of money , enough that it ’s part of what the company in reality survive on . Even if somehow DC / WB was as if by magic able to turn Batman v. Superman into Arrow v. Flash without spend a dime bag , there ’s no agency that movie would be as successful as BvS would be .
The Flash is The CW ’s # 1 TV serial by a comfortable margin , averaging about 3.84 million viewers(the last season of Arrow was # 2 at 2.76 million ) . Even if you added those two number , as if none of them determine both appearance , and if they all were willing to drop $ 10 to see Arrow v. The Flash , that would equal $ 66 million . ( That number is absurdly high , since the most viewers belike ascertain both shows , and probably add together at 4.5 million max ; meanwhile , even getting half of those to bribe a movie ticket is by no agency a given . )
Worldwide , Man of Steel made $ 668 million worldwide , which is just a tad more — and since BvS will finally put Batman and Superman on - screen together , I conceive of it ’s going to make importantly more . So financially it does n’t make any horse sense for those with the power to do such a thing .
However , you ’re good in that Arrow and the Flash are TV analogue of the World ’s Finest ; Arrow is dark and broody and actually basically reenacted the entireness of Batman Begins in time of year 3 ; The Flash is sunny , tiptop - powered , and the hero has a newsperson for a girl , exactly like Superman . Together , they ’re the perfect made - for - TV version of Bats and Supes .
But to say they should supersede the two of the most popular superheroes in the humankind is crazy talk . Yes , the Arrow is burdened by less canyon than Batman , but it ’s that 80 years of canon that have made Batman DC ’s prominent fighter . You ca n’t really have one without the other . If you swop Batman for Oliver Queen , you ’d have to wait decennium for Arrow to have the same cultural cachet that Batman has currently , and he ’d call for decades of really good stories written for his character , too . You ca n’t just swap ‘ em like Magic cards .
As for the Flash , it ’s deserving point out that since he can move quicker than jolly much anyone can think , he is for all intents and purposes nearly and muscular as Superman . Really , Superman can survive in more extreme environments than the Flash , but anytime a villain gets the secure of the Flash on the show , it ’s because the writer have to contrive a way for him not to employ his exponent , to use his power poorly , or just make him a little too stupefied to call back of an obvious solution . And that ’s what Superman writers do all the time with Superman . And while I see your spot that Barry , being human , is more flawed that Superman emotionally , which makes for better stories , I ’d direct out that Barry Allen ’s moments of “ aroused development ” in The Flash ’s first time of year were the defective part of the show , as Barry would have to on the spur of the moment become acid , dazed , raging or deplorable in order of magnitude to have an internal dispute to get over later . Maybe there ’s the potential for the Flash show to tell more emotionally satisfying stories than Superman at his upright , but it ’s not there yet .
So let ’s not do aside with Batman and Superman quite yet . But lease ’s be beaming we live in a time where their made - for - TV equivalent are so damn entertaining .
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Help Me Ronda
Jason C. :
Hi Rob ,
Ronda Rousey want to take on Captain Marvel . opinion ?
I love the sports fan graphics of her as Carol Danvers — it ’s genuinely fantastic , as you’re able to see above — but I ’ve seen Fast & Furious 7 , in which she plays the silent badass bodyguard of a billionaire prince . All I can say about her acting is that she had a pretty phenomenal fighting scene with Michelle Rodriguez , and as much as she could give away every body in my stupid physical structure in under a min , she absolutely could not carry a lead in a major motion photograph .
Right now , the rumor is that Emily Blunt is in the lead for the lead of Captain Marvel , which I would have been ambivalent about before I saw her be completely badass in Edge of Tomorrow . And she ’s a genuinely salutary actress , too . I ideate the part is hers to fall behind at this percentage point .
Foureigner
Adam H. :
Mr. Postman ,
So learn all about how crowing of a pot this film is has actuate my interest in in reality see this movie for comedic purposes . So my dewy-eyed question to you is this : Is the unexampled Fantastic Four movie deserving it for comedic purpose or is it such a failure that it does n’t even succeed at flunk to a peak of comedy ?
There is nothing funny about the new Fantastic Four movie . In fact , there is no mood in it whatsoever , either intentional or accidental . Despite being a Marvel property , it could easily have come out of the WB All - Dour DC Movie Machine , where laugh and smiling are forbid . To be fair , it ensue in FF ’s most memorable prospect , when the scientists analyze the four after they get their powers , and it ’s straight - up consistence horror . The Human Torch is shout out in awe , the Thing is shout out in anguish , even Reed ’s stretching looks like his limbs are malformed and being deplumate out of him . It ’s the closest the FF film comes to doing anything new for the superhero movie genre .
Unfortunately , it ’s also completely counterintuitive to the dealership . I may have complained about Man of Steel being too dark for Superman once or twice ( cough ) but the Fantastic Four is theorize to be a family , asterisk in what is family entertainment . A good FF movie would essentially be The Incredibles — a admixture of action , funniness , and a ghost of drama to give it some real stakes . Most of all , it should be fun .
But the FF picture show had no comedy , almost no action to speak of , completely unearned drama , and was absolutely no fun . You want so - defective - it’s - entertaining ? track down down Roger Corman ’s nineties Fantastic Four film , which was patently film on a budget consisting solely of Arby ’s coupon ( the trailer is above ) . I would still hint wassail when watching it , though .
Weaving on a Jet planing machine
Dave :
I was reading your postbag and remark you mentioned pretty nonchalantly Red Skull would “ presumably be play by someone other than Hugo Weaving . ”
Kind of trivial but I ’m just authentically wracking my brains here .
citizenry do n’t detest him , but he haspublicly admitted he does n’t desire to come back to the office . I do n’t know if there was uncollectible descent on the set , if he ’s one of the many actor who Marvel taste to short - change , if he hat the make - up process , or maybe even if he ’s just tired of nerd menu . But he has unequivocally said he does n’t want to come back .
That said , he did sign a multi - picture contract bridge , so unless that ’s expired , if Marvel demand for him to skull it up he ’ll have to , but I sincerely doubt Marvel would want the electronegative press that would fare with forcing an role player to process against his will — especially when it ’s a persona anyone could theoretically play once the make - up has been applied . So if Red Skull does pop back up in the MCU , it ’s go to be much skillful for both parties to have Weaving out of his contract and get someone new .
Kickstop
David G. :
Now that Sony is talking about bringing Spider - Man into the MCU , how much would have to be raise in a Kickstarter campaign to buy back the X - world from Fox ? I ’m sure for an extra $ 10.00 or so they would throw in the Fantastic Four seeing how they ca n’t seem make a pic that anyone wants to catch .
Please , god , do not commence a Kickstarter so Marvel can purchase back the Fantastic Four license . I understand the intent , and I experience about the only chance of there being a halfway decent FF film is for Marvel Studios to get their hands on it .
But they do n’t need extra money . Last twelvemonth Marvel Studios made $ 1.49 billion just through Guardians of the Galaxy and Captain America : The Winter Soldier , and that ’s not counting the profits they got from Marvel movies they did n’t put out , like X - manpower : twenty-four hours of Future Past , Amazing Spider - Man 2 , Big Hero 6 , etc . Their parent company , Disney , made nearly$8 billion in pure profit in 2014 . If Marvel / Disney really wanted the license back they could pay off Fox off instantly .
They do n’t ask your money . Excuse me , they involve your money — you grease one’s palms their movie ticket , after all — but they do n’t take more of your money , and they certainly do n’t deserve more . Besides , ease up that even a crappy Fantastic Four pic franchise will pull in Fox several hundred million bucks over the next ten or so , it ’ll also take several hundred million for Marvel / Disney to re - adopt the film rights . Unless you have 10 million or so friends who are also happy to institutionalise Marvel a detached $ 10 circular , it ’s out of your price range .
Old and bust
Josh McG. :
Hello Postman ! I believe that the Moloids have n’t gotten you and you receive this alphabetic character enclosed in Time Capsule [ Redacted ] . With the announcement that the third Wolverine motion picture is going to be Old Man Logan , I am wondering how you think they will handle it . Fox or Sony ( Fox I think , I leave ) owns the property to the 10 - hands and Fantastic Four , but that ’s it , right ? I actually just take Old Man Logan , and how are they going to have the Hulk family unit and all the other things that happen if those properties are owned by Marvel ? Will it be Old Man Logan in concept and name only ? Without following the storyline of the comics ? Or how do you mean they will go about with this story ?
They wo n’t . Hugh Jackman is either trolling fans or he does n’t be intimate what the Old Man Logan storyline is , because there is no way anyone would ever put that comic on - screen , even if they could . And they ca n’t , like you enunciate , because the Hulk is the main antagonist .
I am 99 % certain Jackman is using “ Old Man Logan ” ( real gore above ! ) as a snatch - all terminal figure for a picture show where Wolverine is old and near the close of his journey more than anything else . I would sincerely doubt he ’s even translate Mark Millar ’s Old Man Logan or have a go at it really what it ’s about other than “ Logan as an Old Man . ” Either he , his assistant , or someone at Fox put off the Old Man Logan comic with a story about Logan past his blossom is infinitely more probable than the idea that OML will be the basis of the third and last solo Wolverine movie .
Which is for the good , because you cognize Old Man Logan is fearsome , veracious ? It ’s Mark Millar at his Mark Millariest . It ’s a framework for jar value , like the adversary being the Hulk and his several inbred redneck kids ( who he ’s had with his cousin-german She - Hulk , of course ) . If you need to read about a future Marvel existence where almost all the superheroes are beat , there are plenty of better options to choose from .
Space Invaded
Jason H. :
Postman-
This is more of a philosophic head , so I hope you have the local equivalent of an IPA to mull . When did we determine that it was ok for Starships to fare out of space ? The Original 60 ’s initiative started to burn up when it enter the standard pressure ; it was -HUGE- news when they said up - front the Voyager was design to insert air .
Now , though , we have the endeavour underwater and Star Destroyers hovering above cities in “ Star Wars : Johnny . ” What happened ? What was the pivotal import when we decided to hold any semblance of realism in sci - fi out the windowpane for “ this looks cool ! ” I am by no MEANS an advocate for “ gruelling sci - fi ” ( you may have to set that for reader 😉 but this seems like a complete faulting from what has come before .
When J.J. Abrams was hired to turn Star Trek into Star Wars .
Star Wars has always play tight and loose with anything regarding the reality of space — the explosion , the sounds , the unearthly forcefields that let ship to fly into repair shed but do n’t do n’t blow out all the Stormtroopers into the moth-eaten emptiness of space , etc . That ’s ok , because Star Wars is place fantasy , and it ’s more fun for ignore all that stuff
Star Trek , on the other hand , at least tried to bring by the rules of physics , as did many other scifi series . But then Trek was boot into a motion-picture show , and J.J. Abrams was hired to try and make it nerveless for modern mass audiences , and he basically turned into a Star Wars movie , with a focal point on action and escapade rather than scifi . I do n’t blame him , and I do n’t actually think the studio was wrong to make this choice — they had to do something extreme to get people interested in the enfranchisement again .
However , I thought this would allow the second movie to be more genuinely Trek - y , and or else Abrams doubled down on the action and the adventure to the censure of anything that made the midget amount of sense .
Short version : Star Wars started it , and it was cement when Hollywood adjudicate masses like Star Wars - y Star Trek more than actual Star Trek . The secure news here is that while Abrams might have made a painful 2d Trek film , the fact that he clearly always wanted to be make Star Wars is a very good signaling for The Force Awakens .
World ’s Foulest
Sean :
A discussion involving monkeys in capes eventually lead to Superman and and an important question : If Superman , and by extension , his bodily Cartesian product are invulnerable ( or as near as ) . Would the most mortifying way to be foiled by the Man of Steel be getting fill down by a hypersonically throw out smattering of Superpoop ? And if not , what would be big ?
Well , as I ’ve argued before , if Superman ’s hair is super - strong , and he can create massive wind - gusts with his breathing space ( or even just sneezing ) then really , all of his bodily functions and products should be ace - powerfulin some fashion . In fact , here ’s my theory :
Remember how Superman would always take a swelling of coal in his hand , contract it , and thepressure would turn it into a rhomb ? Are you plump to state me his sphincter is weaker than his grip ? Of course not . Now , is n’t most of what we eat , whether it be animal or vegetable , essentially made of carbon ? You see where this is going , right ? SUPERMAN SHITS DIAMONDS . Seriously , every loaf that comes out of that man ’s ass should be a 14 - kt diamond necklace that he can give to Lois Lane , Lana Lang , Wonder Woman , or whatever alliteratively named girl he ’s dating in his current continuity . They should belike lap them first , though .
If Superman throws his poop at someone , he would almost certainly be throwing a ball field at them , which is a weird means to be incapacitated , but not awkward , per se . I mean , I doubt the rhomb reek peculiarly good , but that ’s probably something you could keep to yourself .
So what else is there ? In a Bible : Farting . There is no way you may maintain any self-respect if you are overcome by a flatus , specially if that fart impel you into the next county . It announces your demeaning frustration with blaring rectal trumpet music , and a olfaction that will haunt your nostrils ’ nightmares for all time . How could you ever contend another superhero again ?
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