Five Ways to Hit on Aliens

Their endearing unripe tegument and tentacle top executive taunt you every night at the intergalactic bar . You know you need to come to those aliens , but you need some serious pickup arm artist skills . Do n’t worry , because io9 is here to help you polish up your one - liners : Using our unfailing system , you ’ll get those alien babes to blab out to you , give you their phone numbers , and even take you home to their anti - grav beds . We ’ve got five certain - firing ways to make the unknown want you to desire them . 1 . Give them makeover . As the educational movie Earth Girls Are gentle makes clean-cut , the easiest way to get an alien to go on an ground - bind date is to offer him a makeover first . No extraterrestrial being wants to feel like he does n’t accommodate in at the disco , so have your cute protagonist ( ideally , as precious as Julie Brown ) give them a overnice depilation treatment and wardrobe upgrade . Then you ’re ready for a night on the town . And if the ending of this movie is any indication , you ’ll have your Delaware - furred , long - tongue exotic purring in bottom with you before the Nox is through . 2 . Tell your foreigner a whoreson story about your last boyfriend . This is really an modern technique in alien seduction , but it seemed to work wonders for Karen Allen in the movie Starman . A friendly outlander has come to Earth and used transmissible fabric from her dead husband to craft a body for himself ( that ’s why she did n’t demand to offer him a makeover ) . When foreign hottie need her to “ define love , ” Karen gives him the whole “ when someone you have a go at it dies [ sob ] ” telephone number and it totally works ! after on , she takes a fall with the alien out in nature — and that was back in the solar day when Jeff Bridges had a really raging torso , so score one for Karen . 3 . Have a fond body . Sometimes you do n’t require a fancy makeover or tale of woe to get an alien babe ’s attention . The hot alien in Species just wants a warm body , and all you need to do is stand next to her when she strips off her top and shows off her bra . So if you ’re see for a Species - flair hookup , always retrieve to hang out in giant nightclub that are near highly - sort research facilities . Just think of , if she decides not to have sex with you after assessing your genetic cloth , do n’t importune on it . 4 . Make your alien sense like she owe you something . Do n’t allow anyone recite you that guiltiness is n’t a good way to get some hot alien action . attend what come about in videogame Mass Effect when you put the previous “ you owe me something ” mental attitude on . What I ’m saying is that if an exotic babe wants to thank you , always ask for more . Do n’t be satisfied with just a few wise tidings about your leaders or whatever crap . Keep drive for the old you - have intercourse - what . 5 . get together a surreptitious organization whose job is to guard an ambiguous “ break ” between Earth and vaguely - defined alien stuff .

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vrrMJ8SgTiM

This is one of those pickup artist peak that almost goes without saying . Obviously the very first affair you should do if you want to meet red-hot stranger is bring together a hugger-mugger system like Torchwood , from the eponymous telly serial that whirl off from Doctor Who . In this cartridge holder you could see the kinds of things that aliens do with our intrepid broker . The fact is , most stranger are on Earth looking for orgasmic energy and you just have to be in the right place at the right time to give it to them . But if that ’s too hard for you , well then evidently you ’ll desire to go back to the makeover and whoreson account options . Or guilt . Aliens just get it on guilt trip . admonition : Do not , under any circumstances , expect your alien to actlike thisorlike this .