Photo: Sutton Foster Instagram
I was always on the fence about whether I even wanted to have children. I was always very career-driven, and I had such a tricky relationship growing up with my own mom … It was never clear cut for me. I married in my 30s; it didn’t last, but one thing it did give me was this little inkling that I wanted to maybe have a family.
When I met my husband,it was the first time that I finally went, “Oh, I get it. I understand why people have families.“But I was 39 when we got married and I never even thought… I mean, I’d spent my entire life trying not to get pregnant. So the minute I tried to get pregnant, I was like, “Oh, it’s going to be so easy.” But it wasn’t easy for us.
Listen below toMe Becoming Momto hear Jillian Michaels' adoption journey and her unique road to motherhood.
We initially pursued fertility treatments, and those didn’t work for us. And I finally had sort of … I call it the Tokyo breakdown: I was doing some concerts in Tokyo, and I had just gone through a second round of IVF, and I had this massive breakdown in our hotel room. I had always come from this place where, if I wanted to make something happen, I’d make it happen. And it just doesn’t work that way with trying to get pregnant or even creating a family: It comes to everyone in different ways, and I couldn’t force it to happen.
We had all these roadblocks, but as soonas we started pursuing adoption, it was like the roadblocks were going away. I can look back on it now with perspective and clarity. It was like our daughter was cannonballing towards us, and we just needed to get out of our own way. The universe was like, “Will you just [stand back] — I got this!”
Sutton Foster Instagram
It was a pretty remarkable journey to finding our family. And she was the missing piece; I just can’t imagine life without her. I feel so blessed that an incredibly brave and strong woman entrusted us to raise her.
There areso many legal parameters and processes, and I’m incredibly grateful for all of them. You really had to ask yourself a lot of questions, really sit down and think about it. You’re adopting this child, but you are also adopting a whole other family. This child comes with a whole other story and that’s part of your life now, too.
And while you’re going through it, emotionally you really have to let go and trust that if this child is meant to be in your life, the child will be in your life. And if it’s not, then that child will go on another path. The hardest thing for me was that I really had to let go and trust that if it was all going to work out, it would.
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Foster writes in her book that when they got word that they might be adopting Emily,they kept the news very secret— from herYoungercastmates, many friends, even their doorman. And she says she’d do that again today.
I’m thrilled to be talking to you about adoption, but there’s a whole other story about people who have to make really hard choices. For birth parents, it’s an incredibly difficult decision. I want to honor Emily’s birth mom. I love her so much; she’s part of my family. I’m so grateful to her.
[Having these connections in the adoption community] is incredibly important. My co-star inMusic Man,Hugh Jackman, has two adopted children as well, so we talk about it a ton. And then what’s amazing with adoption is that once you join the club of adoption, you meet people every day. You just immediately begin to start making these connections because you know that the road will be need to be navigated.
There’s never been a big reveal, it’s just part of who she is. We created her a children’s book with pictures to tell her story, so we can read it with her. It’s a really wonderful way to help her understand, normalize it: This is just how she came to be in our wonderful life. I know she will have more and more questions as she gets older. And then I will seek out more help for how to navigate it.
Sutton Foster/Instagram
When pursuing adoption, it’s all about letting go and trusting that everyone’s journey is different. You have to just be completely open. You have to completely let go and just trust the journey. But it’s a beautiful one.
source: people.com
